My Most Loyal Friend and Reader,

This where the truest zen of me is put to the test.

The cash assistance has dissipated. The food assistance has thinned. The rent has leaped up, just out of reach. My husband’s paycheck is less than minimum wages, and then criminally sucked dry by a baby-mama-drama scam.

Yet, I fear not. I feel that I am held, I am sacred, I am secure in my faith in God. I have faith that when Jesus, who is my spiritual leader, said “Do not worry” he meant that. Jesus’ philosophy has not let me down, not even once.

Faith is trusting that God’s will is good. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. God’s miracles are everywhere. We just have to keep our eyes and our minds open to it. Now, I’m not worried about tragic things that might happen.  I have blessings, and I have challenges. I also have a Holy Spirit surrounding me with peace, strength, and grace the entire time. It’s only a prayer aware to access it. So I’m not worried.

Faith means I’m not as afraid to be as kind and cool as Jesus is. Such as, written in Proverbs 3:3 Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. I’m not talking about dropping your spare change in a container. I’m not talking about wearing a special color bow. I mean living kindness in the details.

My first reaction is to get frustrated when my check-out line isn’t moving. Sometimes there is a person who is waiting until the last second to write a check in slow and perfect penmanship. Am I in a hurry? Usually not. I use that moment to remind myself to slow down. I need to experience life; not just move in an assembly like fashion from place to place, chore to chore. If I am in a hurry, then it’s my own fault for not leaving on time.

Sometimes all I have is my heart to give. It’s always enough though. I pray for God to use me in a way to reflects God’s infinite love.  At church, in the kitchen, I get to be a friend, a confidant, an helper, an encouraging voice, a role model for future freaks and individualist/ non-conformist. Jesus was an anarchist, a deviant from the social standard, a healer on every level, and a freak magnet to boot. That’s my role-model. People’s Church is full of so many people who show me every positive way to peace and happiness through God. Not because they preach it, by they way they live it with me.

Faith is that I am doing the right thing if I’m living the way Jesus taught other’s to live together. It makes desperate to serve people  God by taking care of God’s people. I’m not referring just to God’s fan club either. I mean especially loving the hater’s. They obviously need some Jesus-love the most.

Faith in God, means that it is not my job to be God’s recruiting agent. God’s love is a light that compels us to be One in an everlasting glow, not a fire that is blinding and then burns you.

This is important to do because we are all part of the same life force. When we extend kindness and mercy to another living being, we are joining that kindness and mercy to ourselves. In the same way, when we seek revenge we are only seeking to abuse ourselves.