I hope I get to be old because I think I would make a very wise, sassy, eclectic old lady. I believe I have been seasoned by experiences, and relationships with every sort of amazing person who has survived, is surviving, a trauma. I will make a stellar grandmother. I’m sure of it.
My attorney didn’t bother to show up for our court case last Tuesday. I feel so abused. As if my family’s survival is irrelevant to the “real world”. I have another lawyer’s phone number to call. I’ve had it almost a week.
I have no faith in my legal team to help me, even when I pay them $18,000. I still have faith in Judge Brennan. She is my final bastion. I voted for her, so I guess my tax dollars do go to her. She is my Wall of Justice.
My therapist says I should try positive visualization to assist with my lack of self-esteem. It’s not that I don’t trust my God, “consider the lilies of the field”, and such. I don’t expect anything more than what we need to survive. Somehow, that feels just out of reach.