I consider it my responsibility and privilege to discuss topics that no one wants to talk about. I am an American and also a Writer, thus I consider it my right to discuss this topic. Today’s blog is about the problems I have to face, and other slender women have to face, if they are not part of the discriminated majority of women unhappy with their body size. I’m going to bitch about being skinny.

Why do I want you to read this blog? Because I have yet to hear anyone else say it. I’m hoping that people will stop judging their worth, or the worth of anyone, by numbers. That people will see that it’s hard to just be a person. Everyone hates stuff-

I hate trying to shop in a discount store because all of the clothes are only in plus sizes or baby clothes.

I hate it that clothes in my size are only sold in the children’s or young miss section. I have plenty of embroidered and bedazzled options for jeans. Awesome.

By the way, jeans in the young miss section are NOT built for my child bearing hips and ass.

I would love to buy a shirt that didn’t sag with empty feed bags in the front, revealing a cleavage I’m not willing to pretend I have.

My daughter cannot find a bra cup in her size that isn’t a plus size bra.

I hate it that anytime I eat in front of people, all I hear is how everyone wishes they could eat like me and still be so skinny. I’m not eating all the time. I only do it a couple times a day, like a normal healthy person. It’s as if I should be ashamed of eating so recklessly in front of those without the privilege of my skinniness. What a thoughtless bitch I am.

OR, if other people are eating and I’m not particularly hungry; then there must be something wrong.  Everyone can tell I’m getting too skinny. Am I feeling okay? I should start eating more. Why are they judging me?

OR, if a person (especially female) is unhappy with their body size and they are eating in front of me, it will be the first thing they have eaten in six days. It’s a trip down their weight number battlefield, and a gym membership regime resume spanning 12 years. I don’t care. It’s food. It’s good. Let us enjoy sustenance together. It’s not my battle with your feelings about your body size.

With that being said to me enough times, I started to worry. Do I have a body dysmorphoric disorder? My husband thinks I have a rockin’ bod. I don’t feel too fat or too skinny. So I decided to weigh myself and do a little research.

I am 5’5″. I weigh 125 lbs. That means by BMI is 20%. I am perfectly within the middle  of the normal range. My cholesterol levels are perfect. I have the healthiest high amount of good cholesterol and the healthiest low level of bad cholesterol. My pulse and blood pressure are at a super healthy low rate. Even my blood sugar is perfect. So how come if I am an ideal size, weight, and health, am I constantly being told I’m so tiny?

I’m 43. I wear short shorts. Why do I wear them? Because, IT’S REALLY HOT OUTSIDE!

I’m aware of the dimples on the backs of my thighs. I know I have stretch marks on my hips. My abdomen is a war zone. Breasts are post- 3 babies breastfed. I just don’t care. I’m married. My husband thinks I’m sexy. And if I wasn’t married, I still wouldn’t care because it’s not like I had anyone to disappoint but me.

I’ve gone up and down the scale quite a bit because of things like massive weight loss after I was paralyzed, to a massive weight gain from medications, or pregnancy. Along the way, I learned to own whatever space I was consuming. I make it mine. I take care of it. I take pride in it. Self-confidence is the sexiest feature a woman could ever have.

We are complex people, not just cold numbers to be measured, compared and evaluated. Make a point of complimenting other women. When you greet someone, immediately point out one aspect of them that is attractive. Compliment her eyes, hair style, or stylish choice of blouse It lets people know that your are seeing them, not just the shape of them.

Everyone has a thing they have to contend with. Everyone is insecure and desperate for approval- just like you. Just love each other because we are all trying the best we can; and because eventually, everyone dies. Let’s make the best we can with what we have together.

 

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