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While you complained about shopping for diapers,

I was shopping for a gravestone for my son’s grave.


While you were cursing another dose of cold meds,

my son’s killer was getting drunk.


While you were annoyed by your kids busting into the bathroom,

my son’s ashes sit in a jar in my living room.


While you were on hold making your kids doctors appointments,

I was filing my son’s death certificate.


While you were resenting your kids other parents visitation time,

I was reliving the last moment I shared with my son while he was alive.


While you were out buying more clothes for your kids to grow out of,

I was staring at my son’s t shirts- wondering if I had the nerve to sew a quilt from them.


While you are over-planning your kids birthday party,

I am packing away pictures from my sons funeral.


While you grumble to a crib at 2a.m.,

I am curled up in the bathroom crying, hoping not to wake anyone.


While you are sick of hearing your kids whining for attention,

I long to hear him say, “I love you, mom” aloud ever again.